I feel like a monster
by teufel-chan
Summary: It's between the protection of her arms, the tenderness of her touch, the soft melody of the beating of her heart, where you feel like a human again, wanted and loved by someone, and you'd do anything to keep her away from the monster that you've become


**I'm not specially good in English, but I've done my best, so, I hope this be understandable.**

**Enjoy, and review! (even anons are allowed to do it :D)**

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**I feel like a monster**

Is in the middle of the darkness and the silence of the night, when you woke up covered by a light cape of sweat, trapped between the coldness and the roughness of your sheets, feeling a painful oppression in your chest which left you without breathing, and with a lonely feeling which suffocate you and doesn't let you scream asking for help.

You feel your body tense, and the panic starts to flood your senses. The blood starts to hit hard your ears as if they were drums and the adrenaline begins to flow freely through your veins to the beat of fierce roars, driving your trembling body towards the edge of the bed, towards the abyss of the reigning darkness in your bedroom.

With hesitation you get up of your bed and slowly move forward towards the mirror, waiting, longing to see the small, sweet and innocent Lucy, and however, you find with a reflex which totally freezes your blood and paralyzes your heart. It's the reflex of a shadow of who you were, your own person emaciated and chased by fear, opinions, reputations…

You can see perfectly the horrible beast that has waited patiently for you to commit the slightest mistake to stop taking control of your body, governing, controlling at her will your hundreds of bones, joints, nerves… You can see how the monster that has been locked up inside you for years, has now broken the lock, escaping freely and with it, taking over your pure soul and body, trapping instead, the small Lucy in a crystal prison.

You feel her red eyes, with bags under the eyelid due the lack of sleep, looking at you in a penetrating way. Her wild smile and her evil laughter fill the air. You notice her blond hair, without shine and tight, made a complete mess. Her porcelain skin, which makes you remember how despite of being alive, your inside is dead and withered, devoid of emotions or feelings like the expression that shows your face.

Those are the silent warnings that show you the monster that you've been turning into slowly and without even realizing, with every insult pronounced, with each slushie hurled… and you can't help hating and feeling sick in view of what you see.

All you can think seeing your reflection, is to find a way to stop the monster and regain control over her, before someone else, besides you, got really hurt. And is at that precise moment when thousands of pictures of certain tiny brunette begin to flood your mind. Her passion speaking, the strength and the torrent of emotions that she conveys when she sings, her big and gold heart, the glances and smiles of love that she dedicates you… and you know that you'll do whatever to protect and keep Rachel away from the monster that you've become, even if it means having to do something radical.

With a determination look, you turn around to look in the mirror again, fearing that the monster is out to hunt her next victim, only to find with a wry and pleased grin, laughing at you, and something inside of you, completely breaks down and a sudden rage begins to take over your body, replacing the previous fear, and it take you to hit over and over again the mirror, shattering it in thousands of pieces, that fall being scattered on the floor, while you hear in the background the heartrending screams of the monster being torn…

You feel the pain take over your bloodstained fists, covered with embedded glasses which break and tear gradually the thin layer of skin, causing to flow freely a blood torrent, which slides over your hand until it reach and stain the floor of an intense crimson red colour, filling the air and your senses with a metallic smell that turns your entrails making you feel a dizziness that makes your body goes weak, falling to the floor with a thud, feeling your body merge with the coldness, moisture and hardness of the floor.

You feel the beast, disappear, freeing Lucy, while you fight for stay awake and keep breathing, waiting for someone to come to save your life just in time. And is in the middle of the pool of blood, glasses and pieces of your soul wrapped by shadows, when a bright light goes through your bedroom, waking up and mending your soul.

You notice a small body kneeling by your side, wrapping your hands between hers, perceiving the silkiness of her touch meanwhile she keeps each one of your hands and gently removes the embedded glasses in your fists, hoping not to hurt you.

You notice her figure stand up and leave, to come back seconds later with a first aid kit and a damp towel to stop the bleeding, and then you realize that Rachel has come to save you, to heal every one of your wounds, both physical as emotional and you feel your body relax, melt in peace and harmony with her care and come back to the life that the beast had snatched you.

You can see clearly her hands intertwined with yours, now bandaged and a strong oppression in your chest makes an appearance, this time different than the previous one, this time is because a feeling of happiness.

You look up and instantly you get lost in those deep, warm chocolate brown eyes which look at you with affection and concern, but when you hear her voice, your body begins to sail between the waves now in calm.

Rachel helps you to stand up and shyly starts to change your bloodied pajamas for a clean one. She takes you back to bed and embraces you tight with all the tenderness and love of the world. She holds and strokes gently your chin and she kisses you, expressing her love, affection and admiration for you. When both of you broke the kiss, leaving your foreheads resting together, your eyes meet and you feel how the air is stolen for your lungs and a fire begins to flare up with strength the beating of your heart.

That night and during the rest of the nights of your life, Rachel embraces you and strokes gently your skin, every wound, every scar, every roughness… while she smiles at you with adoration and tells you everything that you always wanted to hear.

- Listen to me Quinn, and believe me when I say to you, that I really love you, I never going to leave you alone and I'll do everything possible to everything goes well, I won't let the monster to come back, I'll protect you from her. We'll fight together so she can't appropriate of your body again and hurt you… I love you.

And you only can nod with watery eyes because you can't even articulate a word without risk of breaking your voice in view of such statement.

It's between the protection of her arms, the tenderness of her touch, the soft melody of the beating of her heart and the warmth of her voice and laugh, where you feel like a human again, wanted and loved by someone, as the same way that you want and love that person and you would do anything for her.

That's when you understand that only Rachel is able to destroy the monster completely, only she is able to enlighten you and guide you to escape from the darkness where you were trapped, as she's able to light up the sky in the gloomiest nights, blinding the rest of the firmament, because Rachel is not only your savior, is also a real star, she is able to paint with colours a gray day and put a smile in your lips, followed by a soft and sweet kiss.

And that is why, always and only you, Lucy Quinn Fabray, you have loved her and you will love her, your bright star, your angel, the owner of your heart, soul and body, Rachel Barbra Berry.


End file.
